Passing Through the Flames of Forgiveness
by Emerald Omen
Summary: Five years ago, an engine had killed my mother in an accident, and I swore to never forgive that engine. The nightmares I experienced every night only added to my hatred towards that engine. Now, because of my new job, I have to work daily with that same engine. Can I work with her on a daily basis, and keep hating her, or will I find it in my heart to forgive?
1. Chapter 1

_**THIS STORY IS BEING UPDATED TO FIRST PERSON. THAT IS WHY CHAPTERS ARE MISSING.**_

* * *

 _"Coming mother?" I called. The woman behind me smiled._

 _"Yes dear. I was just admiring the scenery." she said. I held my hand out, and she took it as the two of us walked along the dirt road._

 _"I'm so glad you came to see me on my birthday. I thought maybe you would have been too busy." she said. I chuckled._

 _"I always make time for your birthday, you should know that." I said. It was my mother's birthday, and all she had wanted to do was go for a walk in the country. I was happy to oblige._

 _"Look at that!" my mother suddenly said, pointing to a small bird on the ground in front of us. We stopped, and watched as the small bird pecked the ground a few times, before looking at me._

 _"You don't see a bird this close everyday, do you?" I said. Finally, the bird flew away, and the two of us continued walking. A gentle breeze blew through the nearby fields, rippling the long prairie grass in a beautiful pattern._

 _"I don't usually notice all of these things. I'm usually in my car on the way to work. It's nice to take things slow and take in the scenery once and a while." I said. My mother laughed, and patted my hand._

 _"Of course it is, dear. It's a beautiful world, and it's important to enjoy it." she said._

 _After a few more minutes of walking, we arrived at a set of rail road tracks._

 _"Would you like to keep going, or turn around and go back home for some tea?" I asked._

 _"Oh, lets keep going. I could use the exercise." she said. I smiled, and took her hand before setting foot on the tracks. Suddenly, a loud whistle rang out, along with a screech of brakes._

 _"Look out!" a voice shouted. I looked up to see an engine rushing towards us at ludicrous speed._

 _I quickly ran across to the other side of the tracks, pulling my mother behind me._

 _But my hand slipped._

 _I fell onto the ground on the other side of the tracks, the engine just missing me. I frantically got up, only to see the engine sliding to a stop, dark red stains covering the track behind it._

 _"MOTHER!"_

. . .

I jerked awake in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. I frantically looked around, before realizing it was the same nightmare as I had every night, and calmed down.

It had been five years since that day, but I was forced to relive it every night. Every night for five years, I watched her die. I had been to several psychiatrists, but none of their methods or medications helped. It was a curse I endured every night, and by this point, I had gotten used to it.

Sometimes, I would only sleep a few hours before it happened. Other times, I almost made it through the entire night before waking up. Regardless, once it happened, I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep, so I just stayed awake.

Finally, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. It was six in the morning. I always tried to sleep until seven, so I actually got a pretty good sleep.

Today was going to be the first day of my new job. I had trained for years, and went through college for this job. Today, I would start saving lives at the Sodor Search and Rescue Center.

It was the least I could do to help prevent others from going through the same _hell_ I was going through.

I didn't have to be at the Search and Rescue center for a while, so I had enough time to get ready. I threw on a clean set of clothes, and went into the kitchen for breakfast.

I was never a big breakfast eater, so I just had a slice of toast and a cup of tea. I flipped on the radio, and listened as the quiet music filled the room. As I ate, I stared off into space, thinking about the new job.

Who would I work with? What would I do? The manager had liked me, and said that I would be assigned a work partner once I arrived. It might be a person, it might be an engine. Who knows?

I didn't like trains. Ever since that day, I only saw them as death on wheels. But, I was willing to put up with them if it meant I could help save the lives of others. Plus, I didn't really have a choice. I lived on the Island of Sodor, and it was crammed _full_ of trains.

The clock struck nine, and I gathered my things. My shift started at nine thirty, so it was time to go. I took my lunchbox, my hat, and my phone, and walked to the car. It was a short drive to the Search and Rescue Center, but I wanted to arrive early to familiarize myself with the place.

As I drove down the country road, I passed the spot where it all happened. It was a car and pedestrian crossing, with no gates. The engine should have been paying more attention. It should have sounded its whistle sooner, knowing that there could have been people there. But it didn't.

And it cost my mother her life.

I walked up to the grave next to the track, and stared at the cross marking its significance for a few minutes, silently talking to my mother, even though she wasn't really there. I stopped at the grave every day if I went out this way, rain or shine. It was the closest thing I could do to stay close to her.

Others had said I should just forget about it and move on, but I couldn't. For some reason, it always stuck with me, and was always in my mind. It didn't help my situation, but it also made it better, knowing that I could at least be close to her, at least in some form.

I finally forced the bad thoughts from my head and got back into my car. The rest of the way to the Search and Rescue Center, I felt chilled, regardless of the fact that it was seventy five degrees outside.

. . .

Once I arrived, I stepped out of the car and took in the place. The Search and Rescue Center was a large property. Several buildings, a large rail yard, a helicopter pad, and even a dock for a rescue ship was all here. Several people milled about, as trains rushed past in all directions. Harold the Helicopter was landing on his helipad, and various noises filled my ears.

This was my new work environment, I had better get used to it. I headed towards the main building, and was greeted almost the second I walked in, by my new boss, no less.

"Hello Anon! You're early, which is always good! I hope you're ready for your new job. Put your things in your locker, and then I'll fill you in on what you'll be doing, and who you'll be working with. This way, please." he said, leading me towards the locker room.

Once I picked out a locker, and stored my belongings into it, the manager started talking again.

"I think you'll like who we've paired you with. Her old partner retired a few weeks ago, so she's been going solo. She's an engine, a very nice one at that. She saves lives and buildings everyday." he said.

"What will her and I be doing?" I asked.

"You'll be fighting fires. She's a fire engine." he said.

My mouth dried.

It _HAD_ to be her.

There were only two fire engines on Sodor, and only one of them was a female. Of all the engines I could have been paired with at the Search and Rescue Center.

"She's already here, waiting to meet you. She's being filled with coal and water right now." the manager said as he walked outside, me following behind.

"Is that so?" I asked quietly. As the manager and I rounded the corner, there she was.

Sitting patiently in the yard, waiting to meet me. Except for one thing...

The two of us had met before. She saw me, and almost immediately looked away, a look of surprise on her face. I forced myself to walk up to the engine.

Dark blue, with red warning lights. Two large water cannons mounted on top, and a large brass bell sitting proudly on her boiler. The bell that was silent when it really mattered. The engine I had hoped to never see again, and now I was going to be working with her.

The engine that had been in such a hurry to get to an emergency, it had forgotten part of its job, and caused another emergency.

The engine that had killed my mother.

"Hello, _Belle_."


	2. Chapter 2

As I glared at the big blue tank engine, the Search and Rescue manager looked between the two of us awkwardly.

"Do the two of you know each other?" he asked uneasily. Belle forced a smile.

"You could say that." she said.

"Belle killed my mother." I said darkly. Belle closed her eyes.

"And there it is... You know it was an accident, Anon! I feel _terrible_ , and you know that! I'll never get over it!" she shouted. I scoffed.

"I don't care how bad you feel, or how many times you apologize. Unless you've lost a loved one, you can't even _comprehend_ what I'm still going through, and you never will. You're a pile of metal. You don't have a mother, and you won't ever be a mother. You're a machine, and that's all you'll ever be. A man made killing machine." I said with fierce anger behind my tone.

Belle blinked a few times, her eyes wet, before she puffed away, and out of the yard. The manager looked at me in apparent shock.

"That was a little much, wasn't it? I don't know the full amount of the situation between the two of you, but Belle has been here for six years. I've known her for three, and I've never seen her cry. She's a very strong willed engine." he said. I stuffed my hands into my pockets.

"She killed my mother five years ago on her way to a fire. She was careless, and didn't sound her whistle or bell until it was to late. It's her fault." I said, staring at the ground. The dock manager sucked in a breath.

"I was told about that incident. I wasn't the manager at the time, but I was told about it. Belle didn't leave her shed for two weeks after that. I was told she simply sat in it, a tuned out expression on her face the whole time. When she finally did come out, she was different. I don't know what was different, but they say something about her changed. I've only known her as she is now." he said. I shrugged.

"I don't care how she changed. She is still the same engine that killed her." I replied. The manager sighed.

"If I had known about this beforehand, I would have assigned you to another engine, but I can't now. Belle is the only one left, and she needs someone to keep her firebox roaring, and her water tanks filled. You have more duties than that, but you're crucial to her operation." he said. I nodded.

"I will work with her if it means I can help save lives, but I will _not_ be friends with her. I will be a co worker, and that is all." I said firmly. The manager looked at his clipboard.

"Well, at least it hasn't been very busy lately. I'm going to talk with Belle. You should go back inside and prepare yourself to work with her." he said, walking away from me down the track.

. . .

I sat in the locker room, my hands folded in my lap. My eyes were closed, and I was trying to shut down my emotions so that I could work properly. I sat in absolute silence until I heard the door open.

"Belle has come back. Are you ready to work with her?" asked my manager. I silently nodded, and stood.

"I'll do the best I can." I said. My manager paused.

"I talked with her. You hurt her feelings quite badly. I know you're angry with her because of what happened, but do you think you can keep comments like that to yourself?" he asked. I nodded. The manager patted my shoulder.

"She's outside, then. For what it's worth, I'm sorry about what happened. I think Belle is a better engine today, because of what happened then. She's the most careful engine we have." he said. I ignored his words, and stepped outside. Belle was sitting on the track next to the building. I walked in front of her, and the two of us stared at each other in silence. Anger and hatred began to bubble inside me, but I forced those feelings away, and spoke.

"So, I guess we'll be working together then. I've been told I keep your fire up, your tanks filled, and help out with other things as needed." I said.

"That's right. You occasionally switch tracks for me, and make sure I'm in proper working condition at all times. You can even take my rear auxiliary hose and help fight fires. I'm sure you've been trained on fire safety." Belle replied, her face brightening a little. I nodded.

"I have been. I've got a radio, so if you want to go out on patrol now, I'm ready." I said, walking back and climbing into Belle's driver cab. She rang her bell, and slowly chuffed out of the Search and Rescue Center.

. . .

As the two of us puffed along the mainline, it was both of our jobs to keep an eye out for any sign of a fire. The job was a bit awkward considering that neither of us had said a word to each other for over an hour.

"See anything?" Belle called.

"No." I replied bitterly. Belle pulled over into a siding, and stopped.

"Okay, I know that you hate me, but we can't keep going like this!" she said. I leaned against the wall of her cab.

"I can just fine. I have nothing to say unless it's required. I haven't had a full nights sleep in five years, so I'm a little tired." I said bitterly. Belle's face fell.

"Is it... because..." she trailed off.

"Yes. Yes, it is." I said, looking out Belle's window. Silence fell once again, and Belle finally pulled back out to continue the patrol.

Nothing else happened for the rest of the day, which is a good thing. No fires is always good. At one point, Belle stopped for coal and water. As I filled her bunker with coal, I noticed the badge on the side of her body. A shield with flames on it, two dolphins, and a light. The Search and Rescue Center logo. The badge I don't think she deserved to be representing her.

I sighed as I switched from coal to water. As I aligned the hose with Belle's tank opening, I noticed Belle was humming a tune to herself. It didn't sound familiar, but it had a nice tone to it. It was just nice to hear something besides silence. I had no intention of making small talk with Belle, regardless of how much longer it made the day seem.

"You're filled up. Let's head back." I said, climbing back into her cab. Belle's bell clanged, and she headed towards the direction of the Search and Rescue Center.

A red signal a few miles down forced Belle to stop, and another engine pulled up besides Belle. It was Toby.

"Hello Belle!" he said. Belle smiled.

"Hello Toby. It's nice to see you. How have you been?" Belle asked. Toby released a cloud of steam.

"Oh, I'm alright. Just running my line with Henrietta. How about you?" he asked.

"Doing my patrols, not much else." Belle said quietly. Toby took notice of Belle's lack of her usual energetic demeanor.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Belle sighed.

"I made a terrible mistake long ago, and it's made someone very sad for years now. I saw them today for the first time since then, and they still haven't forgiven me, or even stopped hating me. I just wish I could do something to make them feel better." she said. Toby thought.

"Forgiveness is not always something that's willingly given. Sometimes it has to be earned." he finally said. Belle was quiet.

The signal turned green.

"Well, I'll see you later Belle." Toby said before trundling off. Belle slowly accelerated, and eventually both of us arrived back at the Rescue base. As I climbed out of Belle's cab, she released a large cloud of steam.

"Is there anything I could do to earn your forgiveness?" she pleaded. I turned to look at her with a blank face.

"Stop apologizing, for one thing. What's done is done, and should I ever decide to forgive you, I will make the decision on my own time. I know you want it, but I can't give it. Good night, Belle." I said, before turning and walking towards the main building.

"Sweet dreams, Anon." she called. I paused at the front door, listening to her words, before I opened them, and entered the building.

. . .

"So how did it go?" asked my manager, who finally introduced himself as Scott. I sighed.

"It went. That's about it. No sign of any fires or otherwise. It was a quiet day, figuratively and literally." I admitted. Scott smiled.

"Well, at least you're doing your job. Maybe someday the two of you will warm up to each other. Regardless, you can punch out and head home for the night. I'll see you in the morning." he said, before walking out of the room. I sighed, and gathered my things.

After I punched out, I walked to my car, and glanced towards the direction of the rail yard. Belle was sitting there, talking with a red fire engine. I shook my head, and began the drive home for the night.

. . .

As I sat at my desk, staring at the night sky through the window, I looked at the picture of my mother sitting on my desk. A tear rolled down my cheek as I stared at it.

"What would you want me to do?" I asked quietly. I gazed at the picture for a few minutes, before sighing. My mother was a very kind woman, who would forgive anyone for anything. But would she have forgiven someone who had killed me? That was a question I'd never know the answer to, but it stayed on my mind for the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke with a start from my usual nightmare once again, and lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling. It was only three in the morning, so it was to early to get ready for work. I finally got up, and went out onto the back porch to smoke a cigarette. It wasn't a habit I was proud of, but sometimes it's the only way I could relax.

As I sat, occasionally drawing in a breath through my cigarette, I heard a steam whistle pierce the night sky. I looked up at the stars, and exhaled. One of the best things about living out in the country was being able to see the stars at night. Another was the silence. There was rarely a sound during the night in the country, except for the crickets.

Finally, I killed the cigarette, and decided to go for a walk. I walked towards the railroad crossing, and eventually came to it. The moonlight glinted off the rails, and a gentle breeze blew through the air. I sat on the side of the road, and lay in the grass. It was amazing what you could hear through the railroad tracks if you really listened.

I could hear the echo of trains on the mainline, and even an occasional whistle. The metal rails carried sound a long ways. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds for a while, before one sound got louder. A steady chuffing was gradually getting louder, so I assumed a train was coming by. I stood, and walked away from the tracks, and into the field.

Sure enough, a set of headlights appeared coming around the corner, but they weren't going fast. I heard the clang of a bell, and the chuffing slowed to a stop. I looked harder through the darkness, and could hardly believe my eyes.

Belle was sitting on the tracks before my mothers grave.

"What are you doing, you fucking engine?" I muttered to myself. Suddenly, Belle aimed one of her water cannons at the grave, and a gentle stream of water poured out of it, landing on the flowers around the grave. I slowly crept closer, trying to get a clear view of what Belle was doing, before I realized. She was watering the flowers.

She changed the direction of the stream, and gently watered the gravestone and cross. I watched in silence as the grave was cleaned, and then Belle stopped the water flow. She opened her mouth, and I strained to listen to what she was saying.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I've not only killed you, but I've also ruined Anon's life." she said, before silently chuffing down the line, and out of sight.

I stood there silently as I replayed what had happened over and over in my head.

Belle was keeping the grave looking its best. Perhaps she felt it was her responsibility?

I scowled. It _should_ be her responsibility. It was her fault the grave was there in the first place. I quickly found my way back to the road, and walked back home.

. . .

Eventually, it was time to go to work, and I did so silently. Once I arrived, there was little to do. Flynn and Belle were waiting in their sheds, as no Patrol was scheduled for a little while yet. I walked inside the main building, and punched in. My boss caught me as I was about to leave the main building.

"Anon! Can I have you inspect Belle today? We like to keep our engines in check, and make sure they're running their best. Here's a list of things to check." he said, handing me a clipboard. I shrugged, and walked out towards Belle's shed. Once she saw me, she offered a smile.

"Good morning, Anon!" she greeted.

"If you say so." I said. I was still debating on how to act towards Belle with the knowledge of what she had done last night, and most likely had been doing for years.

"I'm inspecting you for safety, so I need silence." I said, kneeling down to inspect the first thing on the list, Belle's wheels and brakes. Belle remained quiet as I performed the inspection. It took a half an hour, but finally it was complete. Belle was in perfect operating order.

"I'll be right back." I said, walking off to the main building to hand in the report. When I came back, I lit Belle's fire and waited for her steam to build. She was low on coal, most likely from her night trip.

"You're low on coal. Don't you fill up at the end of the day?" I asked, deciding to see if Belle would reveal her trip to the grave. Belle looked nervous.

"Usually, yes. But I... forgot to last night." she claimed. I raised an eyebrow. Clearly, she didn't want me knowing of what she had been doing, so I would leave it at that for now.

Once her steam was built, Belle and I headed out on Patrol.

. . .

After a little while, I had decided to bring up the grave trip after all.

"Why do you water the grave?" I asked. Belle slammed on her brakes, and I almost lost my balance.

"Y-You know?" she asked quietly.

"I do. I was there last night. I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. I saw you there, watering it." I said. Belle was silent. Finally, I realized she wasn't going to answer.

"Fine, don't tell me. I don't give a shit either way, but if I ever find it damaged, I'm coming to you first. I won't be happy." I said. Belle slowly continued on her way, keeping my words in mind.

. . .

Throughout the day, not a whole lot happened. No fires or emergencies. Belle and I arrived back at the Rescue Center a few hours before my shift ended, so I worked on other tasks. Belle found me at one point, and started being annoying. In other words, she started talking.

"Are you mad at me, Anon?" she asked. I scoffed.

"Now _why_ in the world could I possibly be mad at you Belle? For being _careless_? For not paying attention? For hurting me in the worst way possible? What do you think?" I snapped, going back to my work. Belle flinched at my words.

"I'm sorry." she said. I threw down what I had been working on.

"I don't want your god-damn apology, alright?! Seriously! I already told you that. If I _ever_ forgive you, which most likely _won't_ happen, I'll do it when I'm ready!" I yelled. Belle looked ready to cry. I internally cringed, and forced myself to apologize.

"Dammit, look. I'm sorry for snapping, alright? Just... _stop_ apologizing. It's not doing anything except irritating me. Just... I have work to do." I said, turning away from Belle. She still wasn't happy, but at least I had apologized for hurting her feelings. Once I heard her chuff away, I turned back to where she had been.

I sighed, and put my face in my hands.

"One of these days, Belle. One of these days..."


	4. Chapter 4

_"Coming mother?" I called. The woman behind me smiled._

 _"Yes dear. I was just admiring the scenery." she said. I held my hand out, and she took it as the two of us walked along the dirt road._

 _"I'm so glad you came to see me on my birthday. I thought maybe you would have been to busy." she said. I chuckled._

 _"I always make time for your birthday, you should know that." I said. It was my mother's birthday, and all she had wanted to do was go for a walk in the country. I was happy to oblige._

 _"Look at that!" my mother suddenly said, pointing to a small bird on the ground in front of you. The two of us stopped, and watched as the small bird pecked the ground a few times, before looking at us._

 _"You don't see a bird this close everyday, do you?" I said. Finally, the bird flew away, and the two of us continued walking. A gentle breeze blew through the nearby fields, rippling the long prairie grass in a beautiful pattern._

 _"I don't usually notice all of these things. I'm usually in my car on the way to work. It's nice to take things slow and take in the scenery once and a while." I said. My mother laughed, and patted my hand._

 _"Of course it is, dear. It's a beautiful world, and it's important to enjoy it." she said._

 _After a few more minutes of walking, the two of us arrived at a set of rail road tracks._

 _"Would you like to keep going, or turn around and go back home for some tea?" I asked._

 _"Oh, lets keep going. I could use the exercise." she said. I smiled, and took her hand before setting foot on the tracks. Suddenly, a loud whistle rang out, along with a screech of brakes!_

 _"Look out!" a voice shouted. I looked up to see an engine rushing towards us at ludicrous speed._

 _I quickly ran across to the other side of the tracks, pulling my mother behind me._

 _But my hand slipped._

 _I fell onto the ground on the other side of the tracks, the engine just missing me. I frantically got up, only to see the engine sliding to a stop, dark red stains covering the track behind it._

 _"MOTHER!" I shouted._

 _I ran to the stopped engine, who had blood covering the front of her buffers. A look of shock was on the engine's face, before she looked at me. The face looked... familiar. Kind, friendly, but shocked._

 _"I...I'm sorry Anon. I really am. Please... forgive me..." she trailed off before growing fuzzy._

. . .

I jostled in my bed, waking up in a cold sweat. As I caught my breath, I glanced at the clock. It was nearly time to wake up, so as usual, I just got out of bed. I replayed the dream in my mind.

The engine had _never_ spoken to me directly before... so why had it now? The dream was almost exactly the same, except for that one difference. Could meeting Belle again after all these years have changed it?

As I did my normal morning routine, the image of Belle stayed in my mind. Blood covering her buffers, a traumatized expression all over her face. Was that what had really happened? I couldn't fully remember. I could only remember that my mother had died. That was all that mattered.

But, what if the nightmares weren't nightmares, but locked memories? If that was the case, how could I unlock more of them, and remember the whole situation?

I set down my cup of tea and scoffed.

Why would I _want_ to remember?

. . .

As I arrived at the Search and Rescue Center, things were slow as usual. Walking inside though, something was definitely different. There were fewer people around than normal. I walked to Scott's office.

"Where is everyone today?" I asked. Scott, who had been looking at his computer, smiled at me.

"Just the man I needed to see. A lot of people are on their way to the mainland currently. There is a large wildfire over there, and they've come to us for extra help. We're short handed... which is why I need to ask you a favor." he said. I sat in front of his desk.

"What's up?" I asked. He sighed.

"I know that you and Belle don't exactly get along, and I know you and her had a little fight yesterday, but I'd like to ask you if you would mind staying with her tonight? Our entire night crew is on the mainland, and we don't have any sleeping quarters here. Usually the night crew is busy with things here. The engine shed's are the best place to sleep. They have some hay and other things that you could rest on. Would you mind?" Scott asked.

I internally groaned. Spending the night at work I didn't really mind, but having to spend it with Belle in her shed, that was something else. It just being me and her, she would _definitely_ want to nag me about the relationship between the two of us. But, in this case, it would definitely help out the Rescue base.

"I guess I can." I finally said. Scott smiled.

"I appreciate it. It's only until the regular crew gets back. Shouldn't be too long, hopefully." he said. I stood up, and walked outside. Belle was sitting at the far side of the yard, looking out onto the open ocean. When I finally got over to her, I cleared my throat, causing her to turn her attention towards me.

"Apparently I'll be staying with you tonight. Scott says we don't have enough night people, and the best place to sleep is in the sheds." I informed her blankly. Belle's expression didn't change.

"Alright. I've been fueled, and am ready to go. Our first assignment today is inspecting the Whispering Woods. Checking to make sure no wild fires start here is important right now." she said. I nodded, and climbed aboard.

Once Belle was speeding towards the woods, I decided that I would try talking with her a little today. But only a _little_.

"I've been having nightmares." I said. Belle slowed so she could hear me over the wind.

"Nightmares? About... what happened?" she asked.

"Yes. That's why I haven't gotten a full nights sleep since then." I explained. Belle stopped as she stood before the Whispering Woods turn off.

"Can you switch the track? This track is manually switched." she said. I hopped out, and walked up to the track lever. With a good amount of effort, I switched the tracks direction. Belle puffed onto the lesser used track, and then I switched it back, for the mainline engines, then walked back to Belle.

"May I ask what the nightmare is?" she asked quietly. I sighed.

"My mother getting killed by you. Over. And _over_. And _over_!" I said, trying not to become angry. Belle flinched.

"I can't believe I caused such a thing..." she muttered sadly. I scoffed.

"Well, maybe you should have been paying more attention and know when you're supposed to use your god damn whistle!" I shouted, shaking angrily. A tear rolled down Belle's cheek.

"The one day I was careless... it cost someone their life, and destroyed another life." she said. I kicked a stone as hard as I could. It bounced off of a nearby tree, and rocketed straight into Belle's side, putting a small dent in her side.

"Ow!" Belle exclaimed. I felt a little bad. I hadn't intended to hit her, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize.

Eventually, Belle continued through the forest, when she suddenly slammed on her brakes, nearly causing me to lose my balance in her cab.

"Now what?" I asked, poking my head out the window.

"Fire! There's a fire!" she said. I looked around, and saw that a small abandoned shed in the forest, was, in fact, on fire.

"Whoa! Okay, what do I need to do?!" I asked. Belle aimed her water cannons, and with a sudden burst, water shot out of them, landing on the burning building.

"Remain calm! I should be able to put this out myself. It's a small fire." she said, slowly moving closer to the flames. Within a few minutes, the small fire had been reduced to a smoldering pile.

"It's out!" Belle exclaimed. I wiped my brow.

"Fire's always look different in person." I said. After I got out, and inspected the building to make sure it would not catch on fire again, I radioed in the report so that a crew could come out and contain the area.

"Let's keep moving." I said. Belle and I ran through the rest of the forest without seeing a thing, and soon enough, we were back on the mainline.

Nothing of interest happened for a few hours. Belle had been quiet since the woods, so I didn't try to start any conversation. Eventually it was time for our breaks. Belle pulled into Knapford Station so I could use the restroom and eat my lunch while she rested.

As I got off, and headed for the bathroom, I heard another engine pull in. I cast a quick glance, and saw that it was Mavis. There was an engine you don't usually see around these parts of Sodor. She usually stuck to the Quarry. I ignored her arrival, and continued on to the bathroom.

Once I was finished with my business, I went back out onto the platform to find Belle and Mavis locked in conversation the way only two females could be. I went and sat on a bench with my lunch while they talked. I assumed that they must have thought I was out of earshot, because Belle and Mavis started talking about me.

"So, how's your new driver? Do you like him? I know you have a thing for humans..." Mavis asked in a hushed tone. My eyes widened. Was Belle one of the few engines who found humans attractive?

"Shh! Mavis, not so loud!" Belle hissed, a blush on her face. She glanced towards me, but I was busy eating, so she assumed I hadn't heard.

"Yes, I like him. But... he hates me. A lot." she said. I winced at her words. She made it sound worse than it was.

"Why? What could you possibly do to make someone hate you?" Mavis asked. I did all I could to hold in my retort.

"You remember that accident I had a few years back?" Belle asked. Mavis thought for a moment.

"The one that you stayed in your shed for two weeks after? Yeah, I remember that one. You were so traumatized, all the other engines felt so bad for you." Mavis said. Belle sighed.

"Well, the woman I hit... was his mother." she admitted. Mavis gasped loudly.

"His mother?! How can he even _work_ with you?!" she asked, before wincing. "That sounded worse than I thought it would." she added. Belle smiled sadly.

"I don't know, Mavis. I've apologized to him profusely, but he just told me yesterday to stop, and that he would forgive me on his own time, if he ever does. I really hope he does. I would like to at least be friends with him... maybe more." she said. I nearly choked on my sandwich. Mavis grinned.

"So, you _do_ like him then?" she asked. Belle blushed, and looked down at the ground.

"I suppose I do. A little. But it will never happen. Not with our past." she said. As the two of them continued conversing, I was deep in thought.

Belle found me attractive, and wanted to be more than my friend. The thought nearly made me throw up. The idea of any human being in a relationship with an engine was absurd! They were just machines, and that's all they were. Albeit, some of them looked nice, with fancy paintwork, or a beautiful design, but that's hardly the same thing!

I stood up quickly, and tossed my trash into the nearest waste bin before walking over to the two engines.

"Hello Mavis. Talk about anything interesting while I ate?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face. Mavis blushed.

"Hi Anon. N-No, we just talked about... stuff." she stuttered. If she had been any more obvious, she might as well have spilled it entirely.

"Right. Well, anyway, Belle, are you ready to go?" I asked. Belle smiled.

"Always. See you later Mavis!" she said as I climbed into her cab. Mavis honked her horn, and began oiling back to the Quarry.

Belle and I pulled through to the other side of the station, and continued on our patrol.

. . .

Later that evening, Belle had backed into her shed, and I were standing outside of it, having a smoke.

"Smoking is bad for you." Belle said. I drew a deep breath, then exhaled.

"You smoke, I don't hear anyone else bitching about it." I retorted. Belle scoffed.

"I'm a steam engine, I'm supposed to smoke. Duh." she said.

"They should have called your kind smoke engines then." I said, flicking my cigarette onto the ground before stomping it out.

"That's a fire hazard." Belle pointed out.

"I stomped it out. It's fine. Jesus Christ, your not my mom. Oh wait." I said, getting irritated with Belle. She stayed silent after that comment, so I walked into her shed and lay on the bail of hay that had been inside.

"Another nightmare filled night, here I come." I muttered, closing my eyes. Belle watched as I fell asleep, and sighed.

"Someday Anon. You can't hold it against me forever. It was just an accident." she said, before closing her eyes to join me in dream land.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Coming mother?" I called. The woman behind me smiled._

 _"Yes dear. I was just admiring the scenery." she said. I held my hand out, and she took it as the two of us walked along the dirt road._

 _"I'm so glad you came to see me on my birthday. I thought maybe you would have been to busy." she said. I chuckled._

 _"I always make time for your birthday, you should know that." I said. It was my mother's birthday, and all she had wanted to do was go for a walk in the country. I was happy to oblige._

 _"Look at that!" my mother suddenly said, pointing to a small bird on the ground in front of us. The two of us stopped, and watched as the small bird pecked the ground a few times, before looking at us._

 _"You don't see a bird this close everyday, do you?" I said. Finally, the bird flew away, and the two of us continued walking. A gentle breeze blew through the nearby fields, rippling the long prairie grass in a beautiful pattern._

 _"I don't usually notice all of these things. I'm usually in my car on the way to work. It's nice to take things slow and take in the scenery once and a while." I said. My mother laughed, and patted my hand._

 _"Of course it is, dear. It's a beautiful world, and it's important to enjoy it." she said._

 _After a few more minutes of walking, the two of us arrived at a set of rail road tracks._

 _"Would you like to keep going, or turn around and go back home for some tea?" I asked._

 _"Oh, lets keep going. I could use the exercise." she said. I smiled, and took my mothers hand before setting foot on the tracks. Suddenly, a loud whistle rang out, along with a screech of brakes!_

 _"Look out!" a voice shouted. I looked up to see an engine rushing towards us at ludicrous speed._

 _I quickly ran across to the other side of the tracks, pulling my mother behind me._

 _But my hand slipped._

 _I fell onto the ground on the other side of the tracks, the engine just missing me. I frantically got up, only to see the engine sliding to a stop, dark red stains covering the track behind it._

 _"MOTHER!" I shouted._

 _I ran to the stopped engine, who had blood covering the front of her buffers. A look of shock was on the engine's face, before she looked at me. The face looked... familiar. Kind, friendly, but shocked._

 _"I...I'm sorry Anon. I really am. Please forgive me." the engine said. I stumbled back, feeling unbalanced. The engine slowly rolled back, and looked at me. Suddenly, her face began to change. It turned dark, and menacing._

 _"YOU'RE NEXT!" the engine shrieked, before charging at me. Everything went black._

. . .

"FUCK!" I shouted as I fell off of the hay bail, and onto the cold ground. I was shaking violently, and breathing so hard, one would have thought I just ran a marathon. Belle, who had been sleeping peacefully, jerked awake, clanging her bell loudly.

" _Ah_! Fire?! Where!? What's going on?!" she yelled, looking around frantically, before noticing me laying on the ground, a trembling mess. "Oh. Anon, are you okay?! You don't look so good." she asked, concerned. I turned to look at her, and soon wished I hadn't.

The second I laid eyes on Belle, my vision changed. A dark red tint covered everything I could see, and Belle began to deform. Blood began to drip from her fire hoses, and her front bumper began to cover itself with spikes. Her eyes turned all black, and her smile turned wicked.

"What's the matter, Anon? Never seen the engine of death before?" she asked in a demonic voice.

I hysterically looked around, trying to get up and run. I felt something running down my face from my nose, and couldn't even think straight.

"Hahahaha. _HAHAHAHAHA_!" Belle cackled as her hoses turned towards me, before shooting blood all over my body.

Within a moment, everything went pitch black.

. . .

Sobbing filled my ears. I couldn't see, but I could hear frantic voices, someone crying, and other noises. I forced my eyes open, and found myself staring into the face of an unfamiliar person.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice hoarse. The man before me smiled, and looked relieved.

"Oh thank God. You had a panic attack, or something of the sort. Belle here wouldn't stop ringing her bell until someone came." he said, gesturing to Belle. I glanced at her, then immediately looked away as the transformation began again.

"GET HER THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" I hollered, covering my eyes. I felt a pair of hands hold me down.

"Whoa, easy now! Everything is alright! You're in no danger!" the man's voice said.

"A-Anon?" I heard Belle's demonic voice call.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I CAN'T HERE YOU! GO AWAY ENGINE OF DEATH!" I shrieked, beginning to fight the hands holding me down.

"Belle! You need to go! Something is happening when he sees or hears you!" a voice ordered. The sound of chuffing filled my ears, then silence. I continued to shake violently.

"Okay, okay, she's gone. Calm down. She's gone. You're in no danger! Breath..." the man said calmly. I took several deep breaths, and finally opened my eyes. My vision was normal, and I felt my body fully. I slowly sat up, and was met with the worst headache I've ever felt.

"AUGH!" I yelled, clutching my head. I felt a pair of hands grab my shoulders.

"Easy! You've suffered some serious trauma, you'll need to relax and take it slow for a bit!" the man's voice said. I slowly opened my eyes, and blinked a few times.

"Where am I?" I asked. The man smiled.

"The Sodor Search and Rescue Center. I'm the on call Doctor, Stewart. I wasn't there when it happened, but you had some sort of mental breakdown, or something of the sort. From what I've seen just now, Belle seems to be the cause." he said. I shuddered just hearing her name.

"Don't say that name to me." I growled deeply. The man smiled.

"Okay, let's call her Blu then. Blu loudly alerted us that you were losing it. We found you passed out on the ground, a heavy amount of blood coming from your nose. You're alright now, though. The bleeding has stopped, and your heart rate appears to be leveling out." he said, standing up. I finally looked around.

I was laying on the hay stack had I slept on previously, sitting outside, surrounded by dozens of worried workers.

"I'll be all right. Is Scott around?" I asked, the pain in my head beginning to dull. Stewart shook his head.

"He left in the evening, but we've informed him of what happened. He said you have all the time off you need to recover. He feels terrible about partnering you with Be... Blu." he said. I nodded, and stood up. The others quickly tensed, ready to catch me if I fell. I waved them off.

"I'm fine everyone! I feel fine, save for the headache! I'm going home." I said, slowly walking to my car.

"Are you sure you should be driving? Something serious happened, and I think its effects are greater than you think." Stewart called. I shrugged.

"I would call a Psychiatrist if I were you. Someone to help figure out what happened specifically!" he called as I climbed into the car. As I slowly drove out of the parking lot, I took a deep breath as the dark scenery flew past.

Fifteen minutes later, and I was well into the country, my happy place. Once I came to... THAT track crossing, I stopped, and leaned against the hood of my car. I stared at the grave, then looked down the quiet tracks.

What had happened a few hours ago? I had been working with... _her_... just fine. Well, fine enough. But something between last night and earlier had caused me to snap. Nothing had really changed between the two of us. She had been trying to befriend me, and I had started to give... a tiny bit.

Maybe that was it? Maybe I just couldn't do anything besides hate her? I heard a distant whistle, and looked down the tracks. The early morning Express would be coming through any second.

Sure enough, Gordon came thundering around the corner, and blew his whistle for the crossing.

But it wasn't Gordon's whistle I heard...

As I watched, a siren like whistle pierced the air, and as Gordon flew past, my vision blurred. As the Express coach's whizzed past my vision, I could remember the crash, and the screeching of brakes. Time seemed to slow as I was able to make out the faces of the people on the Express, all living their lives, hopefully without trouble.

I wasn't watching the Express. I was watching something that wasn't really there. A repeat of the accident. It all appeared in a magic like cloud, happening slowly so I could take in every detail.

The blue fire locomotive appeared in a poof of smoke, and slowly flew down the line, barely touching the tracks. I watched as it happened again.

My mother was killed in front of me for a second time. As soon as it happened, I could hear the screams, and the shouts. Then...

it all vanished, as quickly as it had appeared.

I stood besides my car, shaking. I took a few labored breaths, before I suddenly swung my fist, and it made contact with my driver door window, shattering it upon impact.

" _AAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHH_!" I screamed at the blank early morning sky. Five years of pent up rage, anger, hatred, and sadness escaped all at once. I could feel my nose begin to bleed again, but I didn't care. I stumbled up to the " _2 Tracks – No Gate_ " crossing sign, and swung a fist at it, knocking it clean off its post. I stumbled back, and fell flat onto my back, breathing violently.

As I stared up into the sky with rage filled eyes, I saw a fading image of my mother.

" _Be at peace... I am with you always._ " it seemed to say in my head, before disappearing entirely.

I lay on the ground for what must have been ten minutes, my breath steadily slowing, until I felt well enough to stand back up. I took a deep breath, and looked around me. My fists were bleeding, my nose had stopped, however. Shards of safety glass littered the car seat, and the railroad sign I had destroyed lay on the ground, occasionally trying to move with the gentle breeze.

I carefully climbed back into my car, and finished the trip home without another word.

. . .

Laying in bed that night, I stared at the ceiling, wondering what I was going to do about work. I had called my Psychiatrist and talked with him for at least half an hour, and what he basically thought was that I had a meltdown because I had finally lowered my shields against Belle, even if it only was a little, and that allowed all of the suppressed rage against her finally escape. I had allowed myself to feel something besides pure hatred for her, and that allowed everything to escape.

He thought that since that had happened, I should try seeing her again in a few days, and tried to mend things, but only if I could. If I had another meltdown, I was to go to the hospital, and then see him.

I rolled over and looked out my window. The twinkling of the stars in the beautiful night sky was extremely relaxing, and finally, it lulled me to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

My alarm clock buzzed loudly, and I jerked awake. I hadn't heard that alarm clock in five years, and it was _much_ louder than I remembered. I hadn't heard it since...

Wait...

I didn't have the nightmare!

I quickly tore out of bed, and looked in the mirror. I wasn't dreaming either! I looked at the clock. For the first time in five years, I had slept to the alarm, without one nightmare.

Maybe what my Psychiatrist had said was accurate. Maybe all of my pent up rage, and trying to force the memory down in my mind was fueling the dreams. That could explain why the day after I met Belle, it changed a little, and the day I lowered my guard against her, it... changed a whole lot.

I decided to try and head to work, so I executed my morning routine, and was ready within the hour.

. . .

All was quiet at the Search and Rescue Center. Flynn was sitting in the yard, waiting for something to do, and Belle was nowhere to be seen. I walked inside, and headed towards Scott's office. Once he saw me, he dropped what he was doing and ran over to me.

"Anon! Are you alright? Good Lord, when I got the call about what had happened, I felt so bad! I never should have paired you with Belle after knowing what had happened. How do you feel?" he asked rapidly, dragging me into a chair. I put up a hand to stop him.

"I'm fine, really. As for Belle, I'm quite glad I got paired with her. Because of meeting her, I've finally been able to get over years of pent up emotions. I just didn't do it smoothly." I said, raising my hands for Scott to see the bandages around them. I had bloodied my fists quite a bit in my anger fueled punch fest the previous day.

"What happened?" Scott asked. I sighed.

"I lost it. I was by the crossing, where it happened. The Express went by, and I saw it all over again. The crash, the sounds, the emotions. I remembered it all like a dam burst in my head. Five years of rage, hatred, anger, and sadness let loose all at the same time. I punched out my car window, and destroyed a sign." I admitted. Scott put a hand to his mouth.

"But you're alright now? You don't have to come back to work so soon, you know." he said. I smiled.

"I'd like to. It can get lonely out in the country. Just point me in Belle's direction so we can get our differences sorted out. I think I'm ready to forgive her." I said. Scott's smile faded.

"And there lies the problem." he said, looking at a paper on his desk. It had a picture of Belle on it.

"What?" I asked, getting concerned. He sighed.

"We don't know _where_ Belle is. She ran off apparently after you woke up, and we haven't seen her since. I've had Harold looking for her, but she knows all of our search tactics, and is avoiding them, apparently. I don't know where she is, but I hope she doesn't do anything rash. I think... she thought she permanently injured you, mentally. I don't know if she was able to handle that. She's such a kind engine, but... I don't know what she would do if she was afraid, or scared. She's always been brave, so nobody has ever seen her scared." Scott explained.

I folded my hands, and thought.

"Let me look for her." I finally said. Scott raised an eyebrow.

"You? How could you possibly find her?" he asked.

"I'm new to the Rescue Center. I don't know the search tactics, but I have my own. She won't know those. Give me a rail car, or a small track maintenance vehicle, something I can get around with on my own, and I'll find her." I said firmly. Scott looked torn between common sense, and hope.

"If you think you can find her, then sure. Take the maintenance scout vehicle, it's in the shed by Harvey. It's small, but it will get you along the tracks just fine." he said. I nodded, and left the office.

I finally found the shed, which had a single track leading into it. I opened the door, and found a small yellow two seater track vehicle. I sat in the operators seat, and looked at the controls. An ignition key, a throttle lever, direction lever, and brake lever was pretty much all there was. A few buttons as well. I turned the key, and the small vehicle puttered to life. I moved the direction lever to FORWARD and gently moved the throttle. The track car slowly rolled out of the shed, and began to make its way down the yard.

. . .

I had been making my way along the mainline for a while, with no sign of the blue fire engine. Of course, if she were hiding, she most likely wouldn't be camping out on the mainline, but I wasn't leaving any option out.

Eventually, I switched onto a side track that headed off into the country. As the sun shone brightly overhead, I wondered if Belle was still on Sodor. She could have gone to Misty Island if she wanted. The underground tunnel entrance was very close to the Search and Rescue Center after all.

"Where have you gone?" I asked aloud.

. . .

In five hours, I had been over almost the entire island. And as my track vehicle began to sputter, I realized that I hadn't gassed it up once. It wobbled to a stop on a siding, and I stepped out. There was no fuel station nearby, so I would have to walk now. Scott had made me take a radio, just in the case of an emergency, but I didn't want to bother anyone back at the Rescue Center by calling for gas.

I decided to walk along the tracks, and did so for a while, until I saw an old wooden shed with a rusty pair of tracks leading into it, connected to the mainline. I decided to investigate.

I walked up to the large building, and opened one of the small doors. It was very dark inside the shed. I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me.

"Belle?" I called. I heard a small gasp, then silence. She was definitely here.

"I know you're here, Belle. You don't have to hide." I called, beginning to raise the large door to let light in. Once I had, I could finally see inside. Belle was all the way in the rear of the shed, looking miserable. I walked up to her.

"Everyone has been trying to find you. Why have you gone and hid?" I asked, my arms crossed. Belle looked at me, then her lips parted, a barely audible sentence escaping it.

"I didn't want to hurt anyone else..." she whispered, closing her eyes as a few tears began to fall. I sighed.

"You haven't hurt anyone Belle." I said, resting a hand on her bumper. She glared at me.

"Are you _really_ going to deny me hurting you twice? You're going to deny that _now_ , after giving me the cold shoulder for so many years? Do you have _any_ idea how badly I wished I could go back and change that day? Go back in time, and tell myself not to go out that day, or to pay more attention? But I can't change what has already happened." she sobbed. I sighed.

"No one can change what already has been. They can only proceed with life, knowing it happened. There is nothing anyone can do to change the past, so why dwell on it? You can only learn from your mistakes." I said. Belle sniffed.

"Yeah right. If you believed that, you would have forgiven me a long time ago, and I would feel better. I'm never leaving this shed. I won't be able to harm anyone in anyway if I never leave." she said.

"But you won't ever help anyone either." I added. Belle was quiet.

"Others can help people. Murderers don't help." she said, before suddenly puffing forwards out of the shed. So much for never leaving.

"Hey, wait!" I called after her, but she had rocketed away before I could stop her.

"What have I done? I've directed my anger towards Belle too much, and said to many things to remind her of what she did. She believes she's as bad as I made her sound." I said to myself, running out of the shed. I looked around, and saw a cloud of steam slowly dissipating in one direction, so I ran that way.

I hadn't expected to catch up with Belle, but I found her sitting on the track a few minutes later at a red signal. Before she could realize that I was there, I climbed into her cab as to not lose her again.

"Belle, you're not a murderer! Murderers kill on purpose!" I shouted. The signal turned green, but Belle didn't move.

"Get off Anon. I don't want to see you again." she said. Her words stung like a thousand needles to my heart. Had it come from any other engine, it wouldn't have had as hard an impact, but Belle was one of the friendliest engines of all. To hear her say something like that was beyond unexpected.

"I can't do that Belle. We have a job to do, and a relationship to mend." I said. Belle blew a large cloud of steam.

"There is no relationship between us except the killer and the victim. Nothing will change that, you've made that clear." she said, beginning to puff forwards. I balled my hand into a fist, and slammed it down.

"There hasn't _been_ a relationship between us yet, at least not a good one, but I want to change that. I want to..." I stopped as I sniffed the air. "Do you smell that?" I asked. Belle slowed.

"No. Smell what?" she asked irritably. I poked my head out her cab window.

"I'm not sure. It smells like smoke, but I can't see any. Slow down a little." I ordered. Belle huffily slowed, until I suddenly ripped her manual emergency brake.

"Whoa! Hold it! I saw something!" I shouted as Belle slid to a stop.

"Would you warn be next time before doing that?" she asked. I ignored her, and squinted out her window. I could see flames flickering from the nearby woods.

"Shit! We've got a forest fire!" I yelled, grabbing the radio. Belle reversed back until she reached a switch, and then headed into the burning forest while I radioed in.

Several trees were ablaze, and several more were in danger of catching on fire.

"We must work quickly! If this spreads, it will be too much to handle!" I said, quickly jumping out with Belle's auxiliary hose. She sprayed water on the burning trees to the left, and me to the right. Eventually, the sound of other sirens began to ring out, but by that point, most of the trees were out. Once Flynn arrived, the three of us destroyed the fire completely.

As I stood, making sure there was nothing we had missed, there was a loud _CRACK_! One of the nearby tall trees began to topple towards me.

"Look out!" Belle cried, before racing in front of me in the nick of time. The massive tree collided with Belle's boiler, and knocked her off the track on impact.

"Whoa! Look out!" I shouted as the tree continued to shove Belle. I jumped out of the way, just as Belle toppled onto her side into the gravel, the tree sitting on top of her. It had punctured her water tank, and bent her wheels. Her fire hoses were broken, and water was leaking onto the ground from her water tanks.

"Jesus! Belle, are you okay?!" I asked, rushing over to her. She glanced at me before closing her eyes.

" _Ow_." she said. I looked towards one of the firemen standing nearby.

"Call the Search and Rescue Center! We need the breakdown crane!" I ordered, looking back towards Belle.

"I can't believe you did that Belle. I could have moved out of the way in time." I said, kneeling in front of her. She looked at me.

"And if you didn't?" she asked. I was silent. "I won't have any more lives on my heart, Anon. I can't handle another one. Especially one that blames me for the first one." she said, groaning as her body creaked for a moment. I shook my head, holding tears back.

"Belle, I don't hold it against you anymore. I forgive you. I forgive you for what happened that day, and I'm putting it behind me. And it's because of you that I'm finally able to. You may have caused the problem, but you also helped me get over it." I said, putting a hand on her face.

She looked at me with wide eyes.

"You really forgive me? After so long?" she asked quietly. I nodded.

"I do. I was starting to warm up to you Belle, and that caused all of the emotions I've been holding back all this time to be let loose. That's what caused me to go crazy Belle. Emotional overload, not you." I explained. Belle looked as if she was going to cry.

"I never thought I'd hear you say you forgive me. You have no idea how much better that makes me feel." she said, before closing her eyes. I glanced up as the last of the water in her tank poured out, then trickled to a stop.

"Belle?" I asked, before jumping up. "Where's that breakdown crane?!"

. . .

Eventually, the breakdown crane arrived, and it carried Belle back to the Search and Rescue Center. If she was a normal engine, she would have gone to the Steamworks, but there were special mechanics better suited for repairing a fire engine back at the Rescue Center.

I rode back with her, and found Scott once we arrived, who was both glad and horrified upon seeing Belle. As she was put into the repair shed, Scott and I watched as the doors closed behind her.

"What on Earth happened to her?" Scott finally asked. I took a breath.

"She saved my life."

Scott gave you a bewildered look.

"She _what_?!" he asked. I explained about the tree, and how she blocked it from crushing me. Scott sat in silence for a while, before sighing.

"Have you forgiven her?" he finally asked. I nodded.

"I have. I told her after she had been hurt. She'll be okay, won't she? The damage can be repaired?" I asked hopefully. Scott looked unsure.

"I can't say for sure Anon. She was heavily damaged. With the amount of water she lost, and the tear in her tank, it's a very serious amount of damage. She'll need a new set of wheels, a new water cannon system, and new water tanks. It will be very costly. It might be a better financial decision to get another fire engine, and retire Belle." he said. I jumped out of the chair I had been sitting in so fast, it fell over backwards.

"NO! Don't retire her! Don't stop her from doing what she loves! She just now got over what happened all those years ago, just as I have. She couldn't get over it until I forgave her. I want her to enjoy her work again free of negativity. Let her live her life happy again!" I pleaded. Scott folded his hands.

"I'll look into it then, if you think it would mean that much to her. But, it will cost a lot either way. If we repair her, it will take days at least. We'll have to have you work with Flynn until she's repaired." he said. I nodded in agreement.

"Anything. I'll do anything to see her on the rails again, happy and being really useful."


	7. Chapter 7

Two weeks went by, but to me, it felt like two years. I wasn't allowed to see Belle once, instead I worked with Flynn during that period. Everyday I arrived at the Rescue Center, hoping to see Belle waiting for me in the yard, repaired and ready for action. And every day, she wasn't there.

I could always hear tools and see flashes of light coming from inside the repair shed, so they must have been doing something. I just hoped they weren't doing what I feared.

Cutting Belle up, and using her for parts.

I shuddered at the thought. Although I had blamed Belle for my life troubles until recently, and had only been working with her for a few days, I had grown extremely fond of her. The thought of not being able to see her again made me hurt to my very core.

But, one day, when I arrived for my shift at the Rescue Center, the repair shed doors were open, and the inside was empty. I assumed Belle was gone for good, so I sadly trudged towards the building. All of my thoughts swarmed around inside my head.

So many things I would never get to tell her, and so many adventures the two of us would never have. As I gripped the handle of the front door, I heard a sound that made me turn around so fast, I almost sprained my wrist because I nearly didn't let go of the door first.

The clang of a large brass bell.

I whirled around the moment I heard it. There sitting on the tracks behind me, was Belle. Fully repaired and repainted, she looked as good as new. She was smiling at me.

"Well there you are! I've been trying to find you all morning, but someone said you hadn't been coming in early like you used to." she said. I dropped my things and ran over to her.

"Belle!" I said, leaning against her with my arms spread wide. Granted, she was much to large to give a proper hug to, but I could try. I began to babble mindlessly as tears began to fall down my face.

" _I'msosorryBelle! Inevermeanttohurtyouforsolong! CanyoueverforgivemeforwhatIputyouthrough_!?" I rambled. Belle was silent until I finished.

"Of _course_ I forgive you Anon. We've both said things we regret, and done things we regret. Today, we can have a new start, and a new friendship. Does that sound good to you?" she asked. I nodded, still leaning my head against her.

"What took them so long to fix you?" I asked quietly. Belle laughed.

"You don't just fix an engine overnight Anon. It takes time." she said. I looked at her, and once she saw my tear stained face, she realized I had missed her very much. "Anon, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Scott wasn't sure if they would be able to fix you or not. I thought... I thought I might not get to see you again. I thought maybe that had decided to cut you up for parts, and get a new fire engine. There would have been so much I never would have been able to tell you." I said. Now Belle felt bad.

"Oh Anon, I didn't know. I'm sorry. I didn't think you would worry so much. No engine gets scrapped as long as they're still really useful. I would never leave you if I had a choice." she said.

Finally, I pulled myself together, and stood before Belle.

"I didn't realize it until recently, but I've grown to like you Belle. I don't care what happened in the past, you are a very kind engine, and... you saved my life." I said. Belle smiled compassionately.

"My job is to save lives Anon. But we don't usually get put in danger ourselves. I would have gone straight into a burning building to save your life Anon. I owe it to you to do everything I can to make your life as good as possible after everything I've done to make it worse." she said. I patted her bumper.

"Lets make a deal Belle. After today, neither of us ever speaks of what happened all those years ago again. New beginning, stop focusing on the past." I said. Belle smiled.

"I would be happy to, Anon. But... there's something I need to show you before I can do that. If you'd like, I can take you now to show you." she said. I smiled.

"Anything Belle. Just let me punch in and put my things away, and then we can do whatever you'd like." I said.

. . .

A few minutes later, I had boarded Belle, and she had rolled out of the yard to where ever it was she was taking me.

After a while, our surroundings began to look familiar.

"Belle, are you going where I think you're going?" I called.

"Yes." she called back. As she switched onto the country track, the fields began to look familiar. Eventually, a road crossing came into sight, and Belle slowed to a stop before it. I climbed out, and walked to Belle's front. My mothers grave stood on the side of the track, its flowers gently waving in the wind.

"Why do you water the flowers?" I asked again, hoping Belle would tell you this time. Belle took a breath.

"I've never been able to forget what happened that day. Even before I saw you again a few weeks ago, it weighed on my mind everyday. Everyday, I would come out on this line, and stop by this area for a few minutes, silently paying my respects, and hoping that one day, you would find me, and forgive me for what happened. I watered the flowers of the grave everyday, and washed it to keep it looking its best. It was the least I could do, to keep the memory of your mother looking its best." she said.

I stood in silence, gazing at the grave. I heard Belle release steam behind me, and I turned to her with tear filled eyes.

"You did a wonderful job." I said, before giving her a kind of but not really hug. Belle closed her eyes and enjoyed my attempted embrace.

Finally, I let her go, and sighed.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to forgive you, Belle. It was an accident, and you never deserved what I put you through. I've just never been one to forget things, and that hurt me here. I'm glad I got paired with you at the Rescue Center, and I'm glad I was able to forgive you now. I just never thought... that the one who caused so much pain so long ago... could cause so much happiness now." I said, giving her a smile.

Belle blushed.

I climbed back into her cab.

"I'm glad we can finally be friends Anon. I've wanted to be your friend for so long, ever since that day. I wanted to show you I could be something besides a killer." she said, slowly beginning to puff forwards. Suddenly, I remembered something that had happened at Knapford a while back.

"Do you remember that day we stopped for a break at Knapford? It was our second day together, I believe." I asked. Belle stopped, and I got back out, so I could face her.

"Yeah? I remember that. Why?" she asked, steadily looking more nervous.

"And when Mavis arrived, what did you two talk about?" I asked. Now Belle was blushing.

"Umm... just, you know... engine stuff?" she tried. I shook my head.

"Right. Engine stuff. Okay. Is there _anything_ you'd like to tell me, Belle?" I asked, giving her a chance to admit it herself. Belle bit her lip.

"You know, don't you?" she asked quietly. I nodded.

"I know. I just don't know why you haven't told me yet." I said. Belle almost laughed.

"You think it's _easy_ to tell someone that you have a crush on them?!" she asked. I shrugged.

"It's not hard for me. Watch. Belle, I have a crush on you. I figured it out the day after you saved my life." I said.

"Well that may be easy for you to say, but for some it's a little harder to admit...admit... what?" she asked, giving me a bewildered look. I nodded.

"You heard me." Belle frowned.

"Let's pretend I didn't. What did you just say?" she asked. I stuffed my hands into my pockets.

"I like you Belle. A lot. I didn't realize it until the day you started being repaired, but I've grown close to you. Every day I arrived at the Rescue Center, and you weren't there waiting for me, I grew more depressed. I began to think maybe they weren't going to fix you. That's why I reacted like I did when you were finally fixed." I said.

Belle's gaze was locked on me for quite some time.

"You're _serious_?" she asked. I nodded quietly. Belle didn't seem to believe me.

"How could you possibly feel that much towards me after what I did?! You only forgave me two weeks ago." she asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know Belle. I just know that when I arrived at work, and you weren't there, it hurt a lot. Almost as much as losing my mother. You have the kindest heart I've ever seen, and you put your life before others. You remind me a lot of my mother." I said. Belle's jaw dropped.

"I've liked you since you started at the Rescue Center. I know it's weird, but... I think you're cute. You have a good personality." she said. The two of us stared at each other for a few minutes before we both started laughing.

"Well, if we both feel the same way, maybe we should take it slow, and see where it goes?" I suggested. Belle smiled.

"I've heard from Frieda that being in a relationship with a human can be nice. She and the dock manager are going steady." she said. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well then, I guess we won't be the only human and engine couple around. But, I need to take it slow. I've never been in a relationship before." I said. Belle smiled.

"That's okay, Anon. I've waited this long, I can wait longer. I just enjoy being with you in general." she said. I put a hand on Belle's bumper.

"And I with you. Who knows where we can go from here?" I said. I climbed into Belle's cab, and she slowly chuffed down the line, and around the corner.

As we went, I could feel a presence around me. I looked around, but couldn't see anyone. But it felt... warm. Motherly.

I took a deep breath as Belle and I headed back to the Rescue Center. Today was the day my life changed for the better, and it was all because of Belle.

The one who had caused so much grief and pain... was also the one to cause so much new happiness in my life.

And there was only more to come.


End file.
